What is Ambulatory Mortosis?

Ambulatory Mortosis (AM) is an affliction marked by a total cessation of brain and heart activity. For reasons modern medicine can not yet explain, some movement of the body is possible in some cases, but for all intents and purposes the patient is dead. Scientists believe that AM has been with us since the dawn of humanity, but it is only in recent years that the condition has been officially recognized.

Who's at Risk?

Any human is a potential AM case, but specific demographic groups show a higher likelihood of developing AM. These include Episcopalians, people from certain parts of Kansas, and members of the NRA. White people have a much higher incidence of AM than blacks, with white American men of West European origin being in the highest risk group.

Is there a cure?

Not yet, though there have been some promising reports from selected theme parks in central Florida.